OK derby fans, time to get to your favorite venue well in advance, find that perfect spot on the floor right in the turn and put those crash zone mouthguards back on because those girls with the fishnets, ruffled panties and those funny helmets with the stars on them are about to get hit and land right in your lap. No, it's not soft porn, it's time for another month of roller derby!
Here's a rundown of what the leagues have in store for you this month!
WEDNESDAY APRIL 30
OK, we will start the month of May with the last few hours of April. Join our friends at Tucson Roller Derby for a fundraiser for their travel team, the Saddletramps to go to Chicago later this year. So, how do they do this? DERBY-OKIE! Members of the audience get to bid on a Saddletramp (or other participating TRD skater) to sing a particular song and then other audience members can counter-bid to have the skater NOT sing the song. You get how it works. Anyway, this insanity starts at 9PM at the Vaudeville, 110 E. Congress in Tucson.
FRIDAY MAY 2
It's that monthly First Friday traditional, the Arizona Derby Dames rollergirl bake sale. This month, featuring the Brutal Beauties. 6-10PM at Apathamy at the Anti-space, 718 N 4th St, Phoenix.
SUNDAY MAY 4
Also going on in Tucson is the start of the new season for the Tucson Derby Brats. When I was recently at a Brat practice, they were talking about new names for the teams but nothing has been officially released yet. What we do know is that is there will be a Derby Brats bout at 6:15PM at Bladeworld (I am assuming a door time at 5:45PM). No information on admission charges, but please bring some cash to support these kids. They will be more than happy to take donations. Bladeworld is located at 1065 W. Grant Rd, Tucson. For more information on the Brats, visit derbybrats.com
SATURDAY MAY 10
Two major events taking place!
First let's go to the east side and we have Arizona Roller Derby's Tent City Terrors taking on the 5280 Fight Club of the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls. This bout was originally supposed to be the Kansas City Roller Warriors (you know them, the ones who won the Nationals) on May 3 but then was eventually changed to RMRG. This is a travel team bout and I have no recon on RMRG. Therefore, I am making no prediction but I will be (of course) routing for our home team. The bout will be at Casey at the Bat, 40th St & Union Hills. Doors open at 6:30PM and the bout starts at 7PM. For more information, visit azrollerderby.com
On the same night (and the original bout scheduled) is probably the best Arizona Derby Dames match-up of the year. First, we will see a blood feud as Rowdy Roulette and the School Yard Scrappers take on the pretty much undefeated Brutal Beauties. Don't let this year's Scrappers fool you. This is a totally different team this year. Several of last year's veterans are still there and the rookies this year, wow! Too bad Chuck is gone. Now, the Beauties is pretty much running most of their veteran skaters with a couple of recent adds like Bright Eyes and Rogue Kill. But what will happen when you put these two powerhouses together? I think we will have a very brutal but even match. The Scrappers will need to take advantage of the Beauties' alleged overconfidence and they have a good possibility of finally taking down the pinks. Sally and Rocker better stay on their best behavior, especially now since the refs are getting more serious on penalties this year. Regardless, I seriously think that the Beauties' winning streak is coming near an end and I think this may be the bout that will finally do it. Despite my heart being in the Beauties, the signs lead to plaid. SCRAPPERS BY 20-30.
Now for the second bout, it can get just as if not nastier than the Scrapper Beauty bout. I am referring to the Runaway Brides vs. the Coffin Draggers, or as we have been calling it, "The Wrath of Thrash". Ann Thrash and Martini have already proven that the Brides are definitely the force to be reckoned with this year. Now, you have the Coffin Draggers, who have been skating very short, especially now since it looks like Dolly De Los Muertos will be out for the rest of the year. However, we are hearing through our derby vines that there's a good possibility that Suzy Homewrecker may return from her retirement to skate with the Draggers. Especially with Dolly still out, the morgue divas are going to need all of the help they can get. Based on the performances of both the Draggers and the Brides and since I have not heard of any injuries on the Brides. I just think that things will be looking up white. If Suzy is skating, BRIDES BY 30-40. If Suzy is not skating, BRIDES BY 50-60. AZDD skates at the Castle Sports Club (19th Av JNO Peoria, PHX). Doors open at 7PM, bout starts at 8PM.
FRIDAY MAY 16
Whoa! Did you say Friday night derby? Well just wait until you hear about who it is. That's right, it's the Renegade Rollergirls? Remember them? Well, they are around and are practicing 3 times per week. They will have their first public bout in quite a long time. This bout will pit the Phoenix Renegades against the Renegades from Orange County. The bout will be held at the Mars Imperial Warehouse, 441 W Madison Av, Phoenix, AZ 85003. Doors open at 7:30PM and the bout starts at 8. Admission is $10 at the door, no advance. therenegaderollergirls.com
SATURDAY MAY 17
First, look for AZDD at the Skin Art Tattoo Expo at University of Phoenix Stadium. They will be doing a demo bout at 4PM. Later in the evening at 8PM, join the Runaway Brides at the Castle Sports Club for an open skate. If you have skates, bring them!
In Tucson, Tucson Roller Derby has their home bout. The FTW will take on Vice Squad. FTW BY 40-50 Then it will be, Copper Queens against the Iron Curtain. COPPER QUEENS BY 30-40 Doors open at Bladeworld at 6:30PM and the action starts at 7.
A squad from AZRD will be in San Diego that night to take on the San Diego Derby Dolls All-stars.
SATURDAY MAY 24
AZRD will have their Semi-final bout. Now, statistics show that the participants should be the Surly Gurles in second and the Bruisers in third. Numerous sources inside of AZRD have told the AZDR that due to the Bruiser's league-split earlier this year and the fact that the February Bruiser team was all subs, the decision has been made to put the Surly Gurlies against the Brawlarinas. The Brawlies had a tough start at the beginning of their last bout scoring only one point in the first period. The Surlies on the other hand have been growing and apparently still has the team spirit, especially with their nice win over the (new) Bruisers. The winner of the Semi Finals will play the Bad News Beaters in June. SURLY GURLIES BY 20-30. AZRD plays their bouts at Casey at the Bat. Doors open at 6:30, bout at 7.
SATURDAY MAY 31
The Saddletramps are getting ready for more travel team action as they take on the Bay Area Derby Girls at Bladeworld. 6PM. Thank you for supporting your traveling derby teams!
Well folks, that's it! Lot's of derby for your consumption. We'll see you out there!
THE ARIZONA DERBY REPORT
Michelle A. Eyre/Michi-chan
=m
