PHOENIX, AZ - June 14, 2008 - The Castle Sports Club was definitely the Phoenix hot spot last night both outside and inside the venue. It's that time of the year when it's 105 degrees outside and inside, the swamp coolers at the Castle don't do anything but turn Arizona into Florida.
From what I could see, attendance was slightly down compared to previous bouts. I think the cost of gas is putting a crunch on some fan's derby dollars, but the die-hard fans were definitely there and there was definitely an audible roar along 19th Avenue last night.
Present at the bout last night was a group called the West Valley Walkers who are walk 60 miles in 3 days to raise money for breast cancer research. The National Anthem was sung by Blake Silver, husband of Bombshell skater Ember Waves.
BRUTAL BEAUTIES VS. RUNAWAY BRIDES
While technically going into this bout ranked #3, The Brutal Beauties remain undefeated in regular season play since the creation of the Dames in 2006. They are taking on the #2 Runaway Brides, the newly created team for this year who has been running on all cylinders under the leadership of Ann Thrash and Dirty Martini.
In the first jam, Celeste for the Beauties takes on Stiletto Wheels for the Runaway Brides. Both jammers break early, but Stiletto Wheels makes it out first and picks up the lead jam. Bride captain Ann Thrash and several other skaters get in a pile-up in Turn 4. Celeste breaks through again while Stiletto Wheels gets caught up the third time around. 9-5 Beauties (note: the scoreboard originally read 9-9, but it appears it has been adjusted to 9-5. When we reviewed the video, it appeared that only 5 points were scored in the jam.).
In the second jam with the Beauties' Rogue Kill jamming against Vansessa Velocity, either jammer ref really gave any indication that their skater was the lead jammer however Rogue Kill was able to call off the jam. 14-7 Beauties. It would be nice if the refs gave some kind of indication (such as a double whistle) that there is a lead jammer on the track and that ref show a more visible indication of lead jammer status (or not lead jammer).
Going forward into the half, the Beauties kept a jammer rotation of Rogue Kill, Mami Chula and Celeste while the Brides ran a rotation of Stiletto Wheels, Vanessa Velocity and Ska-Tish Bagfights (pronounced "scottish").
In the third jam, the Beauties Lux Breaker collides with Bride jammer Ska-tish Bagfights in turn-3. Then Ann Thrash pushes Lux into turn-3 probably not realizing that Ska-tish was trying to recover from her fall and then Ska-tish trips over Lux and lands on Thrash in a very comedic scene that took place right in front of the AZDR camera. Thrash goes to the box. 22-8, Beauties. In the fifth jam, Rogue Kill of the Beauties achieves lead jam while Ska-tish took a hit in turn-2 keeping her from breaking until late. But by that time, the damage was done through a 9-point Beauty jam. 31-11, Beauties. The margin would close slightly in the seventh jam as the Brides' Vanessa Velocity while breaking late because of being caught up in some tough Beauty blocking still picked up 4 points to the Celeste's 2 points. 37-19, Beauties. In the eigth jam, Stiletto Wheels stumbles in the pack but is able to break through, pick up lead jam and runs into Beauty jammer Rogue Kill. After a collision between the two jammers in turn 3, Rogue tries to call it off. Since she does not have lead jam, the jam had to go on. Stiletto eventually calls it after both teams score 7. 44-26, Beauties. In the final jam, Rogue Kill goes up against Stiletto Wheels. Both jammers break about half way into the jam. While facing major reisistance by Red Rocker and Sally Whacker, Stiletto Wheels manages to score 3. Rogue Kill matches those three points.
Score at the half, 55-30, Beauties.
Second half opens with Celeste taking on Ska-tish Bagfights. While Celeste sneaks by for a lead jam, Ska-tish Bagfights was up against a wall of Brutal Beauty skaters. Ska-tish would eventually crash into the Brutal Beauties bench. After being tended to by an EMT, she was able to eventually get up on her own. 64-34, Beauties.
The second jam of the half showed some potential hope for the Brides as Dee Tox gives a hit to Beauty jammer Sally Whacker who goes down in turn-3. While Sally manages to still score 3, Bride jammer Stiletto Wheels was able to achieve a 10 point jam, the best jam of the day. 67-44, Beauties. In a flashback to something that happened earlier this year during a scrimmage of the now defunct Arizona Bruisers, the Beauties' Red Rocker gives teammate Sharon Fists an accidental slap in the face as Rocker was passing. Rogue Kill was able to widen the margin in the third jam. 71-44, Beauties. In the fifth jam, Vanessa Velocity narrows the margin back to the beginning of the half with a 25 point spread, 74-49, Beauties. But that jam was overshadowed by Bride blocker, Jacked Hart taking a skate to the back and going down in front of the Brides' bench. EMTs were called back on to the floor to tend to her. (editor's note: this specific skater is a good friend to me and has been very supportive in some of my efforts. I hope she is doing better and she will be in my thoughts.)
In the second half, the Beauties replaced Mami Chula with Sally Whacker in their jammer rotation while the Brides bring Mighty Menace into the mix.
In the sixth jam, Rogue Kill, who was already on fire today, picks up 8 points while Stiletto Wheels sneaks by Phyllis Killer to pick up 3. 82-52, Beauties. A strangely executed whip by Bride blocker A. Malicious to Ska-tish Bagfights sends the previously injured Bride jammer dragging off of A Malcious' hand through turn-4. With that distraction, Celeste is able to pick up 4 for the Beauties. 86-52, Beauties. In the ninth jam with Rogue Kill jamming for the Beauties, the Beauties brutal blocker Red Rocker takes out Bride jammer Vanessa Velocity in turn-4. Rocker pretty much pushes her into the second row right in the heart of the Bride zone. The jam is called off by the refs. 90-56, Beauties.
The final jam consists of Ska-tish Bagfights taking down Beauty jammer Rogue Kill then at the end of the game, a jammer-fight between Rogue Kill and Mighty Menace takes place. In this half, the Brutal Beauties scored 42 points to the Brides' 34.
Final score, Brutal Beauties 97 - Runaway Brides 64.
BOMBSHELLS VS. COFFIN DRAGGERS
This bout consisted of two teams that did not have a win this season. The #4 ranked 0-3 Coffin Draggers welcomed their team captain Dolly De Los Muertos back to bouting. The #5 0-2 Bombshells welcomed back Evol Starr, who was on an injury lay-off as well as league co-founder Prima Donna, who is coming back from having a baby (only) about 3 weeks ago. With these additions, this is the first Bombshell bout without jammer and pivot Rope Me Rhonda. The Bombshells have been going through a lot of changes this year and this inconsistency has been plaguing the team throughout the entire season. Just so you and I are kept current here, the captain is Gabrihella Gauntlet and the co-captain is rookie jammer Alkaline Trina.
The first jam starts with Dr. Mary Lu Bottomy of the Coffin Draggers against Alkaline Trina of the Bombshells. Suzy Homewrecker whips the good doctor to a lead jam and then eventually whips her again to pick up points. Dr. Lu calls off the jam before Alkaline Trina could do anything. 3-0, Draggers. In the second jam, Prima Donna jamming for the Bombshells was having major difficulty trying to get by the Draggers' Ginger Mortis. While the Mortis was working the new mom, Dragger jammer Lora Stabbs screamed by the pack twice to pick up 10 points while the Bombshell jammer never broke through. After the jam, Lora went down at the bench. Appeared to just be winded. 13-0, Draggers.
The Bombshells get their first points in the third jam as Bombshell jammer Hippie's Revenge is able to sneak in 4 points before lead jammer Honey B. Heartless was able to call off the lead jam, but does pick up 4 herself. 17-4, Draggers. The Bombshells only other points were in the fifth jam by Alkaline Trina, under a lot of resistance by the Draggers' Iron Swede was able to squeeze in two points in the 90 second jam. Dragger jammer Lora Stabbs was able to answer those and then some. 33-6, Draggers. In the sixth jam, Honey B. Heartless manages to rack up another 5 points for the Draggers while new mom Prima Donna was being ganged up by Ginger Mortis, Crippling Cougar and Tran Syl Vania. 33-6, Draggers. There were a few of us on the backstretch who were questioning if whether Prima Donna came back to skating, more or less bouting, in such a short period after her life changing moment.
In the seventh jam, the good doctor was able to achieve a 9-point jam. Oh, did we mention she had one also in the forth jam? In the current jam, Hippie's Revenge was able to rip by Dolly De Los Muertos but was not able to break again through the great wall of Draggers. 47-6, Draggers. The eighth and ninth jams both had extended take downs (sometimes referred to as "fights"). In the 8th jam, the Draggers' Ginger Mortis was all over Bombshell captain and jammer Gabrihella Gauntlet, Evol Starr heads off Ginger and then Ginger and Evol get into it in turn-3. What a way to welcome Evol back to derby! In the next jam, Alkaline Trina and Suzy Homewrecker would get into in around the same place in turn-3. In the next jam, Dr. Mary Lu Bottomy would scream through for lead jam and eventually 7 points. 60-6, Draggers.
In the final jam of the half, Lora Stabbs takes on Hippie's Revenge who runs into a lot of resistance, especially from Dragger captain Dolly De Los Muertos. The tiring Hippie never breaks but Lora salts the wound by adding 5 more points into the mix. Score at the half, 65-6, Coffin Draggers.
At the beginning of the second half, the Bombshell score was adjusted to 8 points. We are not aware of where in the first half the descrepency was. The AZDR does not get access to the official league scoring sheets.
The second half opens up with Dr. Mary Lu Bottomy screaming down the backstretch to collect points while Gabrihella Gauntlet could not even break through the pack thanks to the brick wall of black and green. 71-8, Draggers.
In the second jam, Alkaline Trina takes on Lora Stabbs. Bombshell blocker Keshta Floor gets into an extended take-down with Jackie Jawbreaker. The jam is called off by the refs and the EMTs are being called back to the floor to tend to Mazzeppa of the Bombshells. Before the jam was called, Lora was able to pick up 7 points. 78-8, Bombshells. Personally, I cover a lot of derby and honestly, I have not seen this many EMT calls in a single night (we had 3 tonight).
The Bombshells will then put some points on the board in the next three jams with Alkaline Trina getting 2, Prima Donna getting 1 and Hippie's Revenge getting 4. But at the same time, the Draggers' jamming powerhouse racks up 5, 9 and 6 courtesy of Lora Sabbs, Honey B. Heartless and the good doctor. 98-15, Draggers.
In a very strange jam 6, Suzy Homewrecker jamming for the Draggers grabs Gabrihella Gauntlet before the second whistle and head-butts her. Later in the jam, Lora Stabbs takes on Gabrihella in a turn-1 extended take down. The refs call the jam early and there's no score. Gabrihella would stay in for the next jam and the Draggers with a very comfortable lead sends rookie Tran Syl Vania to the line. Both jammers break, Gabi picks up 2 but Tran Syl Vania picks up 3 before she crashes near the announcer's table. 101-17, Draggers.
In Jam 8, Suzy Homewrecker hits Hippie's Revenge and Suzy goes to the box. Jamming solo, Alkaline Trina was not able to score, nor was Gabrihella Gauntlet during a solo opportunity on the next jam. Still 101-17. In the tenth jam, Honey B. Heartless and Hippie's Revenge do a ceremonial dance at the jammer line. Iron Swede crashes into the turn-4 crowd, Hippie's Revenge crashes into the announcer's table and Alkaline Trina crashes into Michi-chan. Honey picks up 5 more points for the Draggers.
In the final jam, after a bit of a slow skate stroll, Dr. Mary Lu Bottomy and Gabrihella Gauntlet get in a nice jammer-fight in turn 1 (depsite my wishes for a turn-3 jammer-fight) to cap off this very one-sided bout where the Draggers scored 41 to the Bombshells 9.
Final Score: Coffin Draggers 106, Bombshells 17.
The AZDR has been tracking the Arizona Derby Dames since the 2007 season and based on our statistics, this is the first bout that we are aware of where the Coffin Draggers have scored over 100 points in a single bout. We have always said that the Draggers was a traditionally low scoring team.
With this win, the Brutal Beauties are now in the top of the rankings followed by the Runaway Brides, School Yard Scrappers, Coffin Draggers and Bombshells.
The next AZDD bout will be the last regular season bout where the (1) Brutal Beauties will take on the (5) Bombshells. The Bombshells would have to win this bout and score at least 151 points to knock the Coffin Draggers out of semi-final contention. This is highly unlikely, but you never know. Then the (2) Runaway Brides will take on the (3) School Yard Scrappers. This will be a battle more for where each team will play in the semi-finals.
The semi-final is scheduled for September 20 and will consist of two bouts. The first seed (currently the Beauties) would take on the third seed (currently the Scrappers) and also the second seed (currently the Brides) will take on the forth seed (currently the Draggers). The winners will play each other in the finals on October 11.
AZDD is holding try-outs on Thursday, June 19 at Mesa Skateland (7 E Southern, Mesa) at 7:30PM. Bring $5 and water.
Keep checking with the AZDR for more information on these upcoming bouts.
AZDD is on the web at www.azderbydames.com
THE ARIZONA DERBY REPORT
Michelle A. Eyre/Michi-chan
http://www.michichan.com
